Log in

No account? Create an account
Just Part of My Cunning Plan

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> Amour Macabre
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Friday, March 28th, 2014
6:25 pm - Yes. I am making one of my current rare appearances.
Been sick for a bit. Lost 130 pounds, then blew a diabetic reading. Life is so not fair. There went any goodies with sugar. Also fell. That messed up my blood pressure but that's ALMOST normal again. (120/80...years of that regardless of weight and stayed within 4 points regardless of my love for tobacco.)

I fell right on my screws and plates back in September...and within 2 weeks gained 50 pounds of swelling and almost drowned on it. The emergency room had no clue. My lower leg turned totally black and blue and BLISTERED. At least they treated that right. My GP thank GOD knew I should be 50 pounds lighter and able to breath the moment he looked at me. Fortunately I did NOT need an ICU like the first doctor I saw kept swearing..along with "I will not touch your leg for a thousand bucks!" But all he was really seeing was my cabin fever looking leg and a fat girl. Sighs. Moron. He also was not LISTENING. Thank GODS my kidneys are good and I peed off the 50 in two weeks on diuretics. Got NO sleep and had to sit in a chair or miss the potty...but it worked. My breathing also has not been this good as it was since since I got aspiration pneumonia 10 years ago. Leg is FINALLY mostly better..though I have to hang on now on stairs. I am finally getting things done again.

House is still a mess. But I am managing to improve it. Promised myself once this mess is clean I can get a kitty. Mom had to go into the hospital back in August. She really can't walk anymore..and the stairs would be impossible. Cannot care for her here...and we both put out backs out me and Dad trying. The last 8 days she was here had to get emergency help twice when she fell out of the bed. Her vertigo was so bad the entire planet was spinning and in all that time we could not even get her to sit up. She'd fight us and insist she was going to fall. She is happy and well cared for where we have her and I just got her more books. She seems to enjoy Fern Michaels.

current mood: calm

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, June 25th, 2012
3:38 pm - Peeks in.
I keep saying it but I so have to come in more and write more in here. I've not been able to be on enough to do all the things I do online anymore, and have been picking and choosing a bit. Been somewhat ill honestly the past year and a half, but it's finally improving. Nothing that will kill me, but it's not been so much fun.

Hugs to anyone still out there. :)


(2 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, August 25th, 2011
7:57 pm - Well, that was another summer
I went to the beach. A lot. I've barely been on outside of the other service I infest, and not much in there. Probably don't want to post too much, as I've been down, and rather sick, and don't want to subject those that read my journal to that. lol.

In summation though, after a year and a half give or take, the boyfriend I was so very hopeful about dumped me flat. I still don't know whether I should be mad at him, or myself.


(4 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011
12:48 am - Owie. And other stuff.
My jaw is killin me. TMJ. But other than that actually feeling rather well this past couple weeks.

Today I had to put 450 into my car to pass inpsection. Struts. Grumbles.

Other than that it's nice. Got really foggy today, but finally WARM. :D

Maybe we get rid of the rainy foggy come Friday or so at last, too.

Got rid of a plant we liked. Fruit flies. :( ewww. Fruit flies...

HOPEFULLY this kills the suckers.

Thas about it. Oh! Hi all! :D Can't forget that. :)


(comment on this)

Sunday, February 27th, 2011
9:35 pm - All well!
Snow from CHRISTMAS EVE is finally melting.

Health is improving.

Being pushed really really hard to play D&D again. I realized I've not done it in so long that I have to re-read the materials! OMG.

Now I have to come up with a campaign idea, etc...and all on top of doing what I've been doing, basically gming/running/building but not owning...lol..a sim in one of those graphical worlds.

Oh yeah, they keep me busy. And stressed. What can you say when your happy fun time hobby becomes so much work and drama, that you're actually RL stressed? Might soon be time to step back more than a little, and just go snuggle a certain someone in a corner. :)

Hugs all!


(3 comments | comment on this)

Friday, February 4th, 2011
10:10 am - It snowed alot, and what happened with Hazmat.
First off, we've never I believe gotten this much snow where I am (Long Island, NY, where a couple inches normally snarls traffic because we just don't get any that often) and it just keeps coming. I haven't seen a mess like this since I lived closer in to the city in the blizzard of '77. Actually, this might be worse.

Now, on to the other story:

A few days ago, we received a suspicious envelope at my dad's in-home business address. He had my mother look at it. She opened it. Someone had cut out some woman's name (She is utterly unknown to us) and put it above his business mailing (our home) address in the return address spot. The actual destination for the letter was a well-known vendor of sausages, cheeses, petit fors, etc. that is popular during the holidays. The postage was insufficient to get it there, so it was 'returned' to us. (Of course, no one here sent it, or knows who would even have thought to do such a thing.)

When opened, there were odd, cut out ads, or articles, or SOMETHING...none of it made any real sense. There was also a granular, powdery substance that fell out onto my (elderly) mother. Later, when it was in a ziplock, the cop shook it, and it also apparently contained a package of fast food style condiment.

And that is where we get to the CSI drama part of all this: Six hours, and in the course of all of that, more and more multi-jurisdictional law enforcement ensconced itself in front of our home. Local, county, state...varying emergency vehicles, marked cars, unmarked cars, an entire mobile hazmat lab, an additional police vehicle of unknown sort, and large size...(I stuck my head out the door to see what that was, only to be ordered back INSIDE about five hours into the entire thing by one of the two gentlemen in FULL HAZMAT SUITS with rebreathers..and a bucket in which to deposit the ziplocked and offensive article. By the end of all this, our entire block had been shut down, and they'd run various and sundry tests to determine what the HELL the substance with which we'd all been in reasonably close proximity might be.

Fortunately, inert. It was not a biohzard, not a toxin, etc. It was some form of protein powder, we were informed, though more tests would be done, and they did call back just to be sure that we were all still breathing the next day.

As for the sender? It was likely aimed at the gift basket company, and not us. My Dad's business does nothing controversial, and neither of my parents have any enemies. Anyone I may have pissed off would be unlikely to be able to find me, as I tend to stay broad in my personal details, and haven't pissed off a soul OFFLINE. Too, had I been careless, it would have targeted me, not some random woman's name and my dad's business address. It came here due to inadequate postage, and in retrospect, it's highly unlikely that someone was THAT diabolically clever as to ensure that it wouldn't go through to the address most likely intended. MOST likely, we were simply involved by random chance when someone picked out a name, a business name and address, and pasted them together. We simply hope that it is a harmless nutter, or a miserable prank, and not a test run for something nasty.

Meanwhile, I've been really stressed lately. I can't imagine why. Twitches.



(7 comments | comment on this)

9:40 am - I return with a bit of a rant on an article that annoyed me. Greatly.
The Article, in which the Vatican issues instructions on the conversion of Neo-Pagans, and most specifically Wiccans, going on about the 'dangers' inherent in the beliefs, and claiming it's all just misguided little girls, basically, using the writings of one 'ex Wiccan' Elizabeth Dodd to formulate this plan of attack upon another belief system.


My comment:

In Catholicism, females are relegated to a position of submission to males. In neo-paganism, most frequently, they are of equal, and, in some beliefs, of greater standing than males. They may be full clergy. They may seek out the divine without having to go through another, and they may be full participants in every aspect of their own spiritual journey. No well trained Wiccan will risk the karmic debt of carelessly casting negative spells upon another, and even should one in their immaturity do so, there is no greater risk there than there would be in any other form of PRAYER for a negative end. That is what 'magical' spells and rituals are, properly speaking, another form of prayer, and the only difference between that and a Catholic's mass or rosary, etc, is the form of the ritual and the ingredients used. Wiccans do not perform blood sacrifices, are indeed often concerned with the environment, and, in the case of those I have known the majority were of a vasty spiritual bent, simply practicing another form of belief, and overwhelmingly a positive, and empowering one. One of the greatest things about neo-paganism earlier on was that it was generally non-dogmatic and decentralized, and that the believers did not proselytize. The same can certainly not be said for the Catholic patriarchy. I started out a Catholic. I was classically trained as a Wiccan, toward the end of being clergy, and spent over a decade after my year and a day of training that included meeting with some of the better known names and contributors to the writings on the subject. I actually drifted away from Wicca itself only because I felt that portions of it at least were becoming dogmatic, and even commercialized, where books and lecture circuits were being run and published more to profit than to benefit the beliefs of the adherents. It was still an overwhelmingly positive experience, from which I learned a great deal, and experienced some genuine wonders. In all the time I was practicing, I never cast a single negative ritual against another, though we did do circles to help to heal the earth, and were more aware of ways in which we might protect and benefit the world around us because of that. The first principle of Wicca is part of the Rede, and that is that as it harms none, do as ye will. Some faiths cannot tolerate that others might simply go about their lives, harming none, and living freely. Magic is no more an abomination within such a belief than any other prayer, and the automatic assumption that such prayers will be somehow inferior, or baneful, is frankly the height of arrogance and condecension. The assumption that Neo-Paganism is primarily populated by dabbling little girls is likewise. Nor is seeking strength and freedom of belief just another form of rebellion, and nor is it easy when so many make such crass assumptions. The former Wiccan upon whom the Vatican is depending obviously missed these points entirely.
-Currently a Buddhist-

(4 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
10:08 pm - Let's try this again, from the top...
First and foremost, a happy holiday season to all.

I unfortunately wasn't on nearly as much as I'd hoped for some time. I'm fine, pretty much, but have not been feeling overly well.

On the bright side, we managed to kill the drama from my last entry at last. In short, the site manager finally broke it off with his drama-causing online girlfiend, and got a new, RL one, who is a huge improvement. There was rejoicing throughout the land.

I finally finished my christmas shopping (mostly) tonight though my stuff to a few online friends shall be delayed. I just didn't feel up to the UPS store on top of everything else. IRL family and friends, pretty much everybody got a hoody.

I regret that my deeper thought moments for here of late have come while I'm offline, but I should have something more exciting soon. I've been a bit ranty of late, and that can be far more fun in an online journal than other places, lol.

Be well all!


(4 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010
10:56 pm - It was a lovely summer, with a mild side of discontent.
The beach was fabulous this summer. I'm hoping to get one last day before it closes, and after the storm, though Sunday might be a bit too cool.

It looks like the worst of the hurricane is to bypass us. It will be 40mph winds, and a couple inches of rain, and hopefully nothing more.

There are times I take my online life a bit too seriously I think. Here it's lovely generally, but I've found my new most oft visited place to be both the source of some lovely people, and a gods awful drama pit.

There are times that the bs there is enough to make the kittens cry, and unfortunately, the worst offenders and people tend to be the ones that others so avidly believe and support far too often. Or perhaps they just fear them and that's how they justify spreading crap. In short, I could write novels at this point over in Bad Rpers suck.

I need to get back in the habit of visiting here far more. It's a bastion of sanity.


(5 comments | comment on this)

Friday, August 6th, 2010
12:43 am - Much Less Moody, no TMI!
Been off swimming now for over a month and am having a happy over it. I get to cool off, watch swans (With six baby swans trailing behind...), lost more weight, gained some upper arm muscles, and am all around happier with that part of my life.

Interwebz? I GM on a site within a larger service. Drama's been driving me mad, but finally slowing down.

Men: Got dumped by the webguy that went IRL. Now got a new webguy. He's awesome.

Thaz about it for tonight. My dinner awaits. :D

Hugs all!


(4 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010
2:14 am - So What To Crap On About Tonight? Moody with TMI
Well, there's the weather. Still haven't made it to the beach for all it's been amazing, mostly due to the fact that they decided to close the beach I can enjoy the water in due to their budgeting bullshit. Never mind it's the only beach suitable for the less able, elderly, and those who don't want their toddlers getting eaten by massive waves as they sit ignoring them and sipping whatever the hell it is they're drinking on the side with the massive waves, nor that that parking lot actually is the overflow for the beach that closes for lack of parking. No...considering those factors would make some fucking sense...and combine that with the fact that they raised prices again, but again cut services? Really wondering who is pocketing the cash on this one. State parks and their services should not be expendable in a bad economy. They are a place for cash-strapped families and singles to go, and a place to keep the younger members of our society OCCUPIED and at least somewhat more out of trouble.

Ok...I really couldn't have gone quite yet anyway. I have an unfortunate..um...condition at the moment. Round two of doctor probably tomorrow. Here's the TMI:

(Forgive me for forgetting how to do a cut and not looking it up right this second so I will keep it brief and relatively vague.)

Abscess, large, and getting larger. Had to be drained (read that as sliced open). Don't think it a good idea to get sand in the damn thing. It has a pal that was not immediately apparent due to size and swelling that did not drain when the first one was cut. Gotta go back and have that cut open as well. The actual procedure is FAR less painful than the condition itself. Actually, don't feel a damn thing after the lydocaine shot. Before? couldn't find a position that I could sleep in. Now? Worst part is the nasty taste if I don't eat enough of something to keep the antibiotic down. that and that it apparently causes some dizziness, especially when I forget to eat at all...

On the bright side? Hopeful that it will go away now. Maybe it will even stay away, though THIS doctor (Actually nurse practitioner) mentioned it may involve something hereditary, and yes, maybe I did do JUST enough damage when I started getting these about six seven years back with a depillatory burn in the three areas I get them (One remaining) with JUST enough scar tissue, that it keeps happening.

She was awesome though, very professional, and catered both to my last experience with a doctor on this having turned me off to seeing another...(He told me you're fat, what do you expect basically, carped on about Atkins, which won't work with what I have, didn't treat me, and sent me home basically to soak it in salt water and continue on in screaming pain.) I mentioned this, she made a less than complimentary comment about some male doctors, said she gets thin people in pretty much every day with the same thing, and never said one word about anything else in context except about treating what was actually wrong. Oh yeah, and she charged me 200 less than that Yayhoo. She also took a culture of it to figure out what might be happening bacterially in case the first antibiotic doesn't work and I require something more specific.

I really expected the usual bs when I first saw her: Thin, very pretty, practicing in an upscale town known for looksism, and at first glance, appearing all of about 18. (Closer inspection and you could JUST tell that she's probably in her thirties (Dermatological practitioner, and man she must practice what she preaches because she was the walking embodiment of what ZERO sun damage looks like on a redhead), but wouldn't even be looking that hard frankly if not looking at her as a medical professional. lol. That was my bad. She was flippin AWESOME and a total professional.

On another health-related note: I've hit the age apparently where my metabolism finally changes. My weight-related problems were puberty onset, and apparently caused by whacked out hormones. Over the last few months, with no huge changes to much of anything and no starvation, etc, (Maybe I'm eating a little healthier than I usually do, but I've done that before, never ate unhealthily, save perhaps when I cut things so far down when weight wouldn't otherwise come off that my hair started to fall out...) I've dropped somewhere around sixty pounds. I've lost four and it looks like now six jeans sizes, my clothes are falling off, and I have to go shopping again, because the smaller jeans I bought a couple weeks ago are not small enough, and are also falling the hell off. I had to buy a kid's jumprope at the store while out shopping for other things just to keep my damn pants off. Made the cashier laugh like hell seeing me put it on.

I haven't even STARTED my two hour a day swims that I try to do for as much of the summer as I can, and I look for a change visibly...thinner.

My mother at a couple years older than I am now also dropped huge weight that wouldn't come off before, though her problems were never as severe as mine, and the pounds only came back due to major mobility difficulties later on. I am actually hopeful for the first time in decades that I can at least go down to somewhere around average size. Not really thin, but maybe not so fat that I stand out.


(10 comments | comment on this)

Friday, May 7th, 2010
8:36 pm - Is about. :)
About what you might ask? Ah that is the question isn't it?

Still addicted to the odd online hobby...

Taking care of family. (Mom mostly.)

Hoping the beach season starts very, very soon. Yes, I am still a massive beach bum in summer.

It's been glorious lately meanwhile. Water temps will definitely be up to where I'll jump in within a couple weeks, especially if it warms back up, though not sure when they'll have the water open and lifeguards on, with the damn budget cuts. Some things? Shouldn't cut. Low cost entertainment that encourages fitness for the entire family and libraries should never be cut. Nor should museums and related cultural/educational centers. Beauty, culture, and nature are the constants that make society worthwhile. Otherwise all we have, all we leave behind are grim middens filled with what didn't get recycled.

Anyway, enough of that. Hugs you all!


(6 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, March 21st, 2010
9:39 am - OMG YAY it is letting me post!
Came in the other day to try to post and it wouldn't let me initiate one anywhere! I could only respond to threads. I was like...did they CHANGE something since last I was here and I missed it? That was kinda...well..scary.

I realized I really do need to get over here more.

Meanwhile, I've had odd days of late. Good in some ways, lousy in others. I guess life's just like that.

I was thinking of going back to a bit of my old soap boxy styled political rantage, but I'm a bit tired for it just now, so will just say hello to everyone, and hope you are all well.



current mood: quixotic

(9 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010
2:43 pm - Hey all!
All is well. Killer busy in my other interwebz stuff but came to say hi.

Still going out with that lovely gent, though we didn't see each other over the holidays we did this past weekend and it was great. Sushi and cuddles. Could not be happier.

Boston Market tonight. They always send me on food runs when I am overwhelmed already. lol. \\

Been enjoying myself though, and totally hoping to find a good book too, just so that I can relax a bit between all the other fun stuff. Winter is kinda kicking my ass. I tend to have zero energy when the sun isn't shining so much, but it's gotten a bit better this past couple days.

FINALLY after thirty years managed to track down a teacher I've been looking for and actually presuming dead the past five. Did one more search, and tried going down the road of a different spelling (One I'd never tried because I was so sure there was a D on the end...there wasn't. And he's now got a facebook type site for business types. I saw a similar name, saw it was for someone totally into education and omg...found him. Then thanked him for teaching me to read, and told him what I've been doing with it. :)

Hope you all are doing great.


(4 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
8:43 pm - MerryHappy ALL!
I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hannukah, Kwanza, joyous Yule, Happy Solstice, etc.

HUGS all!


(8 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
2:24 am - The Thanksgiving Dira Update!
Kitty passed on after almost 19 wonderful years on October 31st. I am finally not looking for him every time I move the chair or come into my computer room. His urn shall rest upon my desk, with me.

We are doing Thanksgiving out again this year. Just the three of us so no need to go nuts cooking. Still, I miss leftover turkey.

I've been working on some major housecleaning though, so we may be replacing our old stove soon. The oven hasn't functioned in awhile...and I miss baked and roasted goodies.
The problem with getting in a new one is actually just getting it into the house. laughs. Though my mother seems oddly attached to the stove we have..and the drawer for storage beneath it, but it's old and truly must go. working on that too.

I have a new relationship and though we've not been able to get together the last couple weeks between his kids and colds, we should be this weekend, and I am sooo happy. YAY to sushi and Dexter reruns and movie downloads and getting online and...just having fun. laughs.

I am still utterly addicted to gaming in SL. My bad...

I am currently craving something but not sure what. Hmm. Maybe I'll dart out for a bit to get a goodie...two twenty four am. Something's gotta be open right?

HUGS all!


current mood: content

(11 comments | comment on this)

Monday, October 26th, 2009
3:02 am - Life got BUSY!
I met someone new online, and began to see him shortly after my long term relationship online broke up. It's kinda good it finally did I think. I don't think he'd ever have been more than online, for all I cared about him very deeply. This is, finally, and it's pretty wonderful. He doesn't let me pay for anything, is caring, and sweet, and doesn't in any way ever down me. He's smart, and funny, and we share interests. He's even got a real job, and has been working it for over two decades. I've been seeing him every weekend for a bit over a month now, and I'm really happy.

Meanwhile, kitty could be doing better, but he's still dragging along. He's not eating very well, and is fading a bit. He's almost 19 though, and it was inevitable. Still, I am doing my best for him, and adore him. He's getting extra cuddles and whatever he is willing to eat.

Other stuff is going pretty well. I will go into more detail later.


(7 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, August 29th, 2009
4:44 am - Wow...Summer is almost over...
Encountered good and bad this summer. Got in some beach, but not as much as I like...not that it ever is. :)

Still way too involved in playing over in no life...and still working on various stuff and things.

It was my mom's birthday the other day. We had a lovely dinner together. That was really nice.

My cat is still going...he's 18 1/2 now, and still a fluffy marshmallow of sweetness. Right now, he's taking a post dinner bath and grunting happily to himself.

I hope you are all well, and BIG HUGS.


(8 comments | comment on this)

Friday, July 31st, 2009
7:59 am - Oh my.....stuff and things!
I've been very busy lately, but mostly having fun

About the only bad part is I think a really great relationship is pretty much over. I'm really upset about that, but...don't want to go into details either. If we talk about it, we talk.

On a lighter note, the beach has been wonderful what I've gotten of it with all this rain this summmer, and the damn budget cuts closing where I go for half the season...(Grumbles...we pay for it, too!)

Anyway, hugs all!


(8 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
5:37 pm - Dreamweaver?
GET your ass in gear woman!

(comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page